Alone

I'm sitting here, in my micro-room, staring at white walls and wishing, terribly, for someone to call. Someone to care. Someone to ask if I'm OK. But nobody cares. Nobody sees my weakness ... yes, even I, the ice presence that sends them shivers on their spine - even I need someone to care. Someone to talk to me. Someone ...

And I stare at the white walls crashing me. A new life, just to hide the old age of my body and my soul. A new beginning to run away for the bad endings of the past. A future to prevent the past for taking over.

Lies. I just miss you, I just need you. And I don't deserve you. And I shouldn't have you. But I dream of it - it's my prohibited fruit.

Someone - please - just talk to me ...

Dead or alive

Lost sight.
Voice broken by void.
A lifeless arm.
My messed-up hair.
A bloodless heart.
Me.
A shade in the mirror
Bending the light.
Fabricating sadness.
And collecting.

Dead.

I've seen you
In my mirror.
In me?
Through me?
(close) by me?
Was it my dream?
You were smiling
On the other side
Of my light.

How can the dead be dreaming?

I looked. I stared.
I fixed your eyes
With my emptiness,
With non-human desire
For your pulsating life,
For your warm blood,
For your side of light.

Ever wanted to be alive?
Again?

My heart trembled.
My arm resurrected
To unmess the hair.
The teeth bit the lip
And the blood drop,
Falling,
Turned my light red.

I saw, I saw you smiling.
Am I really dead?

Defrost.
And time is moving on
Again.
No longer in my mirror.
My lifeless arm
Is now frenetically searching
In the darkness.

Your smile was never mine.
It's hers - the one who's still alive.

Have you ever found me?

I've cut the veins
Of my left hand
With a dark piece of glass
From the mirror I broke
When I've lost your smile.

Darkness kills the details.

I lie on the stones
As cold as the blood drops
That crashed on the pavement
Sounding like rain.

I am truly dead.

Sleeping Together - the Other Way

Hello everybody!

Today is a great day! We start a new club for rejected people: "Sleeping Together - the Other Way". We would have called it "the Wrong Way", but we were afraid that some of our more religious leaders will not appreciate the joke.

You can join us any time you want - if you tell us how your passion night ended up with a candid "No" because the other(s) involved liked you too much. We grade your membership depending on how much clothes you still had on at the time of the happening: "Regular" - all underwear still on, "Premium" - socks/stockings and/or boxers/panties still on, and "VIP" - completely naked.

We're providing discounted cab rides from the "Take Me Home" company, with free vodka and chocolate icecream included in the price. Sleeping pills are prohibited - you will abuse them while replaying in your mind, over and over, the scene when "NO" became clearly obvious.

We provide next day/next week care - with self-confidence boosting seminars, napkings, comfort foods, and, for extreme cases, a well-chosen partner that doesn't know "NO".

More announcements to come on our opening gala! Please join us if you feel like crying, complaining, shouting, screaming ... or just too sad to do any of the above.

Love and kisses!